Happy Mothers’ Day to all of you, moms! I hope you got breakfast in bed this morning had a very relaxing spa day, shopped like crazy, and finally had dinner with your family while everyone was treating you like a queen!
Ha! Daydreams! I know this kind of perfect day isn’t gonna happen. I know behind all these celebrations, you still had to stretch your arms and work on the dishes to serve, then washed them after everyone got full. I know behind all these surprises, you quietly cried realizing that you went out because you just didn’t have enough time at home as everyone always leave for work or travels or whatever. I know behind all these sweet social media posts, you felt just like a statue standing in a tourist spot which kids are too excited to take a picture with. I know, because I feel you now. I know, because I am now a mom, too.
Mnemo just turned one year old, but every time I look at my mother working hard being a mom, it actually scares me. “Soon I’ll be in her shoes, too.” All the work, no sleep. All the burns while cooking. All the dissatisfaction and hurtful words you get from being concerned. All the awkwardness because you know your kid is hiding something but you cannot ask because #privacy. All the worries when your kid still isn’t home yet at 12am. Blah blah.
“I am strong because a strong woman raised me.”
I usually open up to my baby’s father about my fear of being a mom. “What if she grows up hating me? Or hating you? What should I tell her when she asks?” He always say “There’s still a lot of time before that happens.” Is that a good reason not to worry? No. But I get what he means.
It’s nice that even at the toughest times of not being together (literally and figuratively), I can still find comfort whe talking to him. I know he feels differently (lol evil laugh), but honestly, I thank him for not running away. Happy mothers’ day to you, too. Yeah, still not greeting you on fathers’ day because I still think you don’t have balls.
I also am thankful to my mom, of course. You don’t know this (or you do), but you inspire me not just on being a mom, you also are my inspiration and the reason why I am standing strong and doing my best to be a better person.
Being a parent is quite a challenge, and taking it easy is just one part. No matter how much you grind – work, house chores, baby sitting -, you still need to invest in self care – physically and mentally. You don’t want to be a zombie mom.
The most difficult part of being parent, I just learned, is the intense pressure of responsibility. It is all on me – providing, nurturing, taking care for, teaching, disciplining. I am a working single mom. At 8am to 5am, I am at the office, plus 2 hours per way traveling. So I have no choice but to leave my baby to my mom and my sister. It sometimes irritates me when they decide for my child, even the littlest things – changing diapers, taking a bath, eating, drinking milk, etc. I thought, can’t I decide myself? But I can’t voice that out because I don’t want to offend them, not to mention I also really them.
Most moms and dads are always worried, thinking they will never win and raise a well-rounded child. They often stress and overthink ways to make their kid “the best”. What we don’t realize is it doesn’t work that way. And no matter how much help we get from the elders or experienced, and no matter how much guidance we give to these kids, it will still depend on how they are influenced by the people around them because kids don’t ever listen, they imitate.
I am closing this post with a little note that I hope would inspire all moms and moms-to-be and even their kids:
For this mothers’ day and the next days, I hope all mothers get some rest. I hope they get a sweet handwritten letter or even an SMS telling them their families love them. I hope they are seen and heard and given attention. I hope they get extra kisses, hugs, and more smiles. I hope they have time and a company going to the salon to get their nails done. And even none of these happens, I hope that deep down they feel special, inspiring, powerful, and loved.