Hellloooooooo. It’s been what, maybe a year? LOL since I visited this blog and hey, I’m finally back because why else do we post long, personal drama on the internet? I’m here because this is ironically the most comfortable space I can vent out to.
I’d want to go out, hike some mountains and stand at the peak and shout I’M TIIIIIIRED then spend the rest of the day appreciating the view and fresh air and maybe a warm cup of coffee. And then my brain reminds me that I’m not any more physically able (at least for now, because duh, I’m gonna work out somewhen) and that I should focus more on what I could do down here while staying sane.
As you know (or not, idk) my mom had stroke and we were shookt – emotionally, physically, mentally, financially. I got COVID which affected my performance at work quite big time (which is kind of in an edge now because of the impact of COVID and wars globally). And now, my dad has different illnesses I can’t track anymore. Mnemo, my four year old, is having her first year of school this year. Imagine all the bills and bills and more bills that my family and I need to settle every month, week, and day. It’s hard not to worry because I can actually provide a better experience for my kid, but because of current priorities, I’m not sure I can support my plans and dreams for her any more. I’m working hard though. But I can’t shake the fact the I also feel tired and stressed and anxious for whatever’s happening around me right now.
Anyways, remember the book reviews I was trying hard to post here? I’m still doing them (I’m surprised too) but on another platform (who knew I’d stay longer than one month in YT?). My posts on IG also turned bookish now because what else can I share? I was complaining about how this pandemic affected my travels and now that we’re almost out from the nightmare, I suddenly am reminded I am already a mom and going out of town for a night is already a bigger challenge. Yes, please do expect travels soon (omg I’m praying too) but for now since I cannot stick my head out of the internet, your support to my bookish content would be soooo much appreciated.
I honestly found it very hard to create content about books because 1) it takes longer time (than travels and food) to actually get the idea and words to share online; 2) unlike places where you can just show people exactly what is there to see, talking about books is more of talking about feelings – how you feel about the reading experience, rather than what you feel about reaching a destination physically; 3) less audience. Almost everyone loves to see beautiful places and delicious food on social media. But not all people are readers. Heck, most peep in my circle do not even care about books.
I still travel though, but for now, only nearby, and for chill trips. No adventures, no days away. I’d say it’s more difficult to grow as a content creator now that I changed niche but maybe I just don’t know yet how to shift my gears and where to look at or present myself to. But I’d still love to share my little travels with you so bear with me.
What I am more excited about is the new house. AAAAAH. I’m not very vocal about this on my other pages but mas I mentioned, my blog is my comfy-est zone. My sister and I started cashing out for our new home in South in 2021 (I think?) and we finally reached the turn over date (actually earlier than expected). Of course the renovations and all are another huuuuge expense but still – I NOW HAVE A HOUSE IN MY NAME! Yay!
Whenever I feel like quitting, I think of the people rely and believe and love me. I think of all the successes I came to achieve so far. I think of all the dreams I have for myself and my family. My younger self would be so scared now of all the challenges we currently are facing, but I’m proud that somehow I feel mature enough to face them and mind not just myself or how I feel but also how people around me would feel when I let myself do stupid things.
I hope you guys are also doing okay. Cheers!