2019: Learning to be happy

I have a fair share of Facebook ‘memories’ that bring back feelings – yep, it’s not just you that makes the hugot! Last year’s “year in-review” appeared in my ‘memories’ page last week (because I love viewing it, tbh) which prompted me to re-read my 2018 wrap-up article on the blog. And to be honest, didn’t just “bring back all the memories” (and feelings) but it also inspired me to do it again and look back at my past year to reflect on everything that happened in my very boring yet interesting life.

Okay, I broke a promise of giving gifts to people around me for Christmas mainly because I am investing on my travels and equipment to maybe upgrade my blog (and skills) a little and finally make money *fingers crossed* from travel articles and videos. OMG this is totally new for me so wish me luck!

Still, I have no unrealistic promises this year, and I only have one vow to myself I am sure I can keep (at least for the whole year) – KEEP DOING WHAT I LOVE DOING.

It’s definitely a privilege to be able to do what you love to do; it’s not something that everyone gets to do, so I feel really good about that.
Awkwafina

There is this one friend of a friend who always have something to say about other people especially when these people share their stories online – those posts (directly or indirectly) “flexing” stuff like their achievements, bonuses, upgrades, etc. I mean, okay, I get that some of those really sound mayabang but who are we to care? It’s an achievement for them, it’s a minsan lang for them, it’s something they worked hard for and proud of – so why do you care, really?! Uggh. So toxic.

Anyway, his pettiness made me realize I am fortunate I can afford and I got the things I have now – decent job, money to spend, time with my loved ones, and stuff other people think I don’t need but I feel like I do. Parang ako pa yung dapat mahiya kasi afford ko. Like WTH?

So speaking of, here I am flexing my biggest ‘yey‘ moments throughout 2019. I am here to share a a short recap of what I learned big in 2019 because I feel like I haven’t shared enough personal thoughts and deeper stories in the past months so here goes…

The need of learning more about myself.

For the past year I traveled more than I planned to. Almost every month, I am outside home traveling, eating, taking pictures and taking notes for the blog (I have thousands of drafted words as of writing, btw. I gotta catch up!) As you know, I am not a full-time blogger and I have an 8-5 job and I am a mom of an almost-two year old infant (going toddler) so how did manage that?

I traveled with my friends. I traveled with my What To Eat PH and PH Archipelago Family. I traveled for work. I traveled with my family. Whenever I am away from my daughter (max of five days, so far), I do video calls with her and the fam or I send pictures and video clips to her titas for her to see. For me, it’s also good that she’s getting used of not being with me because I really travel a lot (if you compare to most moms). It’s just sad that not all people understand that.

Let me explain myself here, BTW. I travel because I am an auditor (not too frequent for now, but still). And I travel to refresh my mind from stress and pressure from work and at home. Admit it, you get and feel me when I say there are times it’s more stressful at home than at work. Family issues, problems, misunderstandings, expectations, toxic communications, etc. Maybe because the closer the person is to your heart, the more hurtful these things can be. So I REALLLLY need to unwind. If you are that type of person who would say “mas kailangan mo nga magfocus kasi kailangan ka nila“, then good for you. But I am not you. I am the “paano ko sila tutulungan kung hindi ko man lang matulungan yung sarili ko“.

And in all these trips I went to this past year, I realized this is what I really love – exploring, discovering, and conquering places and experiences. I gives me at least less than a week feeling stress-free. And I learned I need that. To be able to support and prepare for my family’s future, I need to take good care of my brain because it’s my puhunan to earn money. I need to take better care of my heart because it’s my puhunan for all the challenges I have to face in the future as a single mom.

Money can actually buy happiness.

There are other payment options, if you get what I mean – time, fate, effort, it’s actually you who can set the terms. But I am not a hypocrite anymore. Money can buy happiness. Could be a lower level of happiness, or higher depends on your satisfaction, but it can buy your happiness.

Money can buy happiness, if you spend it the right way. I spend money to have extra time with my loved ones on their health, out of town trips, food trips, etc. I spend money on great experiences so I can see beautiful places, meet more people, and learn more about life. I spend money on someone I care about and buy them the little things that make them smile.

I remember one of my past workshops at work where we were ask to share what was the most difficult question we needed to answer. Mine was “when do you consider yourself successful?” because I honestly don’t know. I had more than one “ultimate dream” in life. When I was a child I wanted to be an artist who paints and colors artworks that sell. When I started schooling, I thought my goal is just to finish college and bahala na. When I got my first job I knew my dream should be to earn enough to buy a house. But how do I really define success?

I still don’t have that dream house now (LOL) but I realized success for me is not by getting all the money and stuff and time I thought I need. I can say I am successful if I am already able to share these things to other people. I am super happy now, thinking that I am finally on the way to achieving my childhood dreams, but what will make me ultimately happy is to make other people happy or at least smile.

Before I and Mnemo ended 2019, I pledged bigger amount for the children of UNICEF so they could have both food and vaccines. Before we end 2020, my goal is to save enough to buy little gifts for the homeless so they could celebrate Christmas with a happy tummy. Yey to my dreams!! <3

I tried not to overshare! But I hope you got my points. 2018 was such a roller coaster ride for me, and thank God I got myself back the next year. I feel like I grew a lot mentally and emotionally but physically I lost 2kgs (from 60 to 58) from the past two months! (Gotta boast that one, though.) Holidays who?

View my Dailies album(s) on VCSO: 2019 | 2020