Life with a one-month old

It’s been one month since my belly was sliced, (haha!) and that part is still a little numb. I read an article about the “feelings” after undergoing C-Section, and I’m honestly relieved the weird feeling is normal for a month or two (actually depends).

I just posted this late, but today, Mneme’s officially one month old. It’s really thrilling and exciting, but to be honest, I’m scared she’ll grow up so fast. I admit, when people used to tell me “they grow up so fast”, I never believed them. Now, I could not agree more, I cannot believe I already have a one-month old little human! Her development makes me sooo proud (though these are actually expected during the first month haha) and makes my every day more sweeter.

My sweet Toyang isn’t my chill baby anymore. She gets hyper and hyper every day, she gets less sleep than her early weeks, and she eats more and more milk from me day by day. She’s well loved by everyone, though.

Having a preemie isn’t a walk in the park. I worry every minute of everyday, especially when her jaundice looks worse. We visited her pedia last week, and thank God she’s making progress.

One-Month Stats

• 6 pounds, 8 ounces
• 19 inches
• Eats 6 to 9 times a day
• Longest stretch of sleep at night: 4 or 5 hours
• Shortest stretch of sleep at night: 2 hours (makes me realize being a mom really is the toughest job in the world)
• Sleeps in our room at night
• 100% breastfed

The average weight of babies her age is 8 pounds. Since she’s a preemie, I don’t expect her to reach that this month or even on the next. Knowing she’s slowly gaining weight and seeing her getting bigger is already the greatest news to me.

It’s definitely true what they say about the first-borns: they are so spoiled. I have no choice. She’s the best little buddy to me making me wan to give her everything she wants and what I think she’d like. We do love being homebodies, but getting out of the house is great for everyone. So yep, I’ll miss these moments when I get back to the office.

The first couple of weeks, we were completely spoiled with having help surrounding us. My mom, dad, bro, and sisters took time off from their own tasks and stayed with us, and it was so nice to have an extra set of hands around the house during the day. So thanks, guys, for everything.

Having a baby is something people really wants and I learned it can’t just happen over night. It takes a very loooong time for some, and others are having them unplanned. Though Toyang was not a part of the plan, I’m glad she came. Because of her, I really learned a lot – from house chores to knowing the people I should be staying with.

I just celebrated my first Mothers’ day, my first birthday having a baby, and the entire summer having a baby. Though I am used to going somewhere to acknowledge those days, I actually loved staying at home with Toyang.

I’m not supposed to mention this, but I still suffer with depression. Especially with what I am gong through right now. Being a single mom really is hard, what more when Toyang gets older? I’ll be honest with her, of course. But in which way will I tell her everything?

Really, life with a newborn, the first month, it’s like a blur and not at all glamorous or like you’ve heard it being romanticized about. And I am talking about this exact thing – how would you explain the real world to your child? It’s just really hard. It’s really hard and exhausting.

For now, I have to focus first on being a good mom to Toyang. Whatever happens to me (or us), happens. But the most important thing for us now is Toyang. Ayoko din naming pilitin ang isang bagay dahil lang sa nagka-anak ako. Love doesn’t work that way. I know we had Toyo at the wrong time, and I don’t want to do something unplanned for the second time either.

Going back to Mneme’s update, I recently learned booking for newborn photography is super expensive and I don’t think it’s worth it. Nah, I do think it’s worth it I mean seeing your cute little baby in costumes is sooo adorable, but I am not going to book for that for every month or even every year. So I did my own shoot though (at random and sometimes candid) it’s not the same as how the professionals do it, but whatever. I’ll think of considering it next time.

Next agenda, church!

I am a Roman Catholic, and Toyang also will be. Which church do you think is the right place for us to welcome her?