So how’s the new mom? + some things worth sharing

My daughter just turned three months last week but I actually thought it was at least six months already. With my new alarm clock, I can barely sleep plus new roles in my job plus tool transitions and configurations, plus one new group of bloggers I just joined plus I recently just had an accident and my left knee was badly affected plus my mom got sick. So yea, basically, my days and weeks became longer.

So if you are to ask how I manage my time: I cry for like 24 hours a day.

I honestly hate it when people say “take a nap while your baby’s sleeping”. Newsflash: when I’m at home, my baby’s nap time is the only time I can eat, or take a bath, or work, or do house chores, or even de-stress. Thanks if my sister and my mom is here to take over.

At night, my baby and I sleep at 8 or 9pm, sometimes, she wakes up at every two hours. Eh, just sometimes. But I honestly feel like a zombie already. So while putting my baby to sleep again, I also have to decide, what should I do next? Prepare her milk for when she wakes up, or should I eat some cake, or audit some work items, or just take a nap instead? Thanks for smartphones, I can draft blogs and connect through social media and take pictures like these any time.

Being a mom is really a hard job. I now understand my mom for when she’s clumsy, inattentive, sleepy. I now understand “mom clock”, “mom brain”, and even stuff like PPD or Post Partum Depression. I now understand things I found silly and shallow and annoying before.

Funny, though Mnemosyne is only three months, I sometimes get scared thinking how much she will hate me for when I become deaf or slow or when I can’t get to understand her anymore. I’m already getting more and more scared when I see kids getting mad at their parents, shouting at them, making them feel guilty, etc. I know that time will come, and it’s all common and natural, but I’m just scared to feel myself breaking again.

I just got the last maternity assistance I could get, and I’m now back on track into saving money. I also now have my first insurance policy and investment, and planning to enroll for another by the end of the year. R’s assistance also goes to savings, while I can still finance home bills, meds, baby’s needs, my needs, and even some good stuff for the family. So it’s still safe to say I’m still doing good in budgeting and I’m doing fine financially. Ah! Adulting!

As mentioned, I accepted two new extended roles at work – one that has something to do with doctors and another with patients. I am well aware these just are another workload, but I honestly am thankful people at work are putting their trust in me even with my “mom brain”. Haha. Ah, plus I’m going back to training on-boarding associates. I missed that!

One funny thing about my life now is, I thought I was already desperate enough to still wait for my dreams to perfectly happen. I mean, alfter all we’ve been through, I thought forgiving everyone, and giving us a little more time, and make myself stupid enough to expect more was a little too desparate already. I thought I already won the “most stupid and desperada” award of the year. Well, I just recently learned someone is fighting for the crown, making a more desperate move, making sure we won’t find peace. We’re not that okay, people. FYI. No need to make it worse. We make it worse ourselves, believe me, we do it every time. Thanks anyway for the effort. Whoever you are, thanks a lot for reading my blog and adding more to my traffic. You may want to promote it, so I can start making money out of it.

With all the crazy stuff and with my unbelievable schedule, you probably are wondering “how does May still have time to write on her nonsense blog?” I write my articles in one sitting, maybe for 10-20 minutes, max 30. And I can write both on my laptop and my phone. The minute I got a blogging topic, I write about it on my notebook or my note app or directly as blog draft and I don’t proofread and I don’t edit and I post it right up as a queued entry.

Ending my post with a few links to some things worth sharing. Hope you find time to read. Ciao!

1. Exactly what I was talking about earlier on this page. I was going to fold the clothes, but instead I held you.
2. Young people’s mental health: we can build a resilient generation
3. The truth about being a single mother and something to look forward to instead of dwelling about those truths.
4. It’s hard, but here’s some things to make you realize why it’s awesome being a single parent as suggested by other single moms.
5. My own list of pros and cons on being a single mother.

P.S. “how do you still have time to read and collate those pages?” I am a wide reader and and I always read – while traveling to work, while eating, while in the CR, before sleep, etc. Thanks to the notes app, and twitter, and even fb for saving those links that I loved. If you really love something, give your time to it. Even for just a minute. Just like how chismosa people do what they love.